From:	BINKLY::WEISENBACH "It's not enough to be loud, you have to suck too.  08-May-1990 1750"  8-MAY-1990 17:59:42.82
To:	@PIG.DIS
CC:	
Subj:	Wood! Directions! Pig! Anxiety!


    Okay folks, it's time to recycle the directions to Lew's house once more.
 But before that, I just want to thank you all for your RSVP's, all 160 to 170
 of you. (Gulp!)  Really, everything is under control.  THERE'S NO PANICKING!
 Really.  We look forward to seeing you all, you starving mass of humanity.

    The pig will be HUGE!  And, the head will still be attached!  Chef Chuck
 contacted his spiritual guide and came up with a number of around 170 pounds
 of hog, which might need to be increased a bit.  It also means cooking will
 begin earlier friday night.  And finally, it means a small forest will need
 to be devastated to cook that massive mound of flesh to the golden perfection
 that veterans of this event have come to look forward to, even to live for.

    For those that volunteered wood (and who were planning on delivering it),
 tomorrow, Wednesday the 9th, will be the start of the pyramid of wood.  If you
 need a way to get the wood there, call or write Chuck Benz.  He's borrowed a
 truck and will be running about swiping wood.  Lew, Chuck, and I will be at
 Lew's place to (groan) help with the unloading and stacking.  Several
 scientists will be on hand to test theories on how the ancient pyramids were
 constructed.  Everyone interested in a cheap workout is welcome to stop by.
 Just watch out for the scientists' ramps and pulleys.

    Say, if anyone has any tarps they don't want anymore, we would be glad to
 have access to them.  I won't say the r-word yet, but please remember the Pig
 Roast is a r**n-or-shine event.  Tarps.  Prudent action.  Not going to jump
 conclusions.  Rain... it's bad, bad.  May sunshine, warm temperatures... a
 thousand points of light.

    Here they are: DIRECTIONS to the Pig Roast!

 ** Route #1

    Take Rt.85 south past Rt.9, crossing over the recently refurbished bridge.
 Make a right onto Mt. Vickery, which is the first right after AAA trucking on
 the left.  Follow this paved, meandering cow path through the woods for a 
 half a mile.  The road ends at a T intersection, marked only by a large tree
 appearing before you.  Turn left at the T, onto Middle road.  Follow Middle
 road for a short while, turning right at the first stop sign.  Now you're on
 Parkerville street.  Take the first paved left onto Fairview, ignoring the
 dirt road that will be before Fairview.  Follow Fairview up and around. The
 first right is Summit street, the second right is really Fairview veering to
 the right.  Follow Fairview around that right, #26 is the first set of
 mailboxes after the corner.

 ** Route #2

    From Rt.495 and points west, take Rt.9 east.  Turn right onto Parkerville
 street from Rt.9.  Parkerville is across from the Andrea restaurant that's on
 the left side of Rt.9,  and right over the hill marked by a big yellow sign
 advertising "Eagle Leasing".  A small yellow caution sign marks the turn, with
 the STOP sign for the street also helping to make it more visible.  This is a
 difficult turn to spot.  If you don't see it, abort the maneuver and proceed to
 the Rt.9 and Rt.85 interchange, following the route #1 instructions from there.
 Once on Parkerville street, Fairview is the second right.  The sign is totally
 obscured by trees though, so be careful. Follow Fairview up and around. The
 first right is Summit street, the second right is really Fairview veering to
 the right.  Follow Fairview around that right, #26 is the first set of
 mailboxes after the corner.

**  Here's some quick route notes: 

 [1] Mt.Vickery is the road from Hell.  It's narrow, winding, and lined with
 trees scarred with fender paint.  There are numerous blind turns and tight
 curves.  Also, there are almost no traffic control signs marking the various
 corners, or who has the right of way.

 [2] Here's a handy tip for navigating that area: never go down any street
 without street lights.  It gets mighty dark out there.

 [3] Parking should be easy enough to find on the wide roads in the immediate
 vicinity.  We promise to have some flashlights to help you relocate your car
 after it gets dark.

 [4] Watch out for the massive granite walls lining Parkerville street.  They
 used to be bridge abutments, but the bridge crumbled to nothing after the
 presidential election.  Along with most of this state.  Unfortunately, more and
 more of your tax dollars will be used to seemingly speed the state's demise.
 But try to put on a happy face for the out-of-staters, or they'll walk around
 with smug my-property-values-aren't-collapsing looks on their faces.  Just
 remember, the state won't be in default until June!