Date: 12-AUG-1996 13:42:59.80 From: ROCK::MUELLER "Rob {x6160} If it ain't broke, I ain't worked on it yet. 12-Aug-1996 1328" Subj: Pig Roast '96 (message #3) To: @pig96 Subliminal advertising has been [Pig] a real problem over the past decade. We've seen major [Roast] soft drink companies doing ['96] it. We've seen movie theaters doing it. I bet that even large computer and semiconductor companies are doing it. I think it's terrible [Pig] to play with people's minds like that. Let them think [Roast] what they want ... not what their ['96] subconcious wants. This might even be the reason that many humans (and some dogs) actually LIKE beer. I mean think about it! Beer doesn't actually TASTE good ... although it might be less [Pig Roast '96] filling. What is beer, really, but some strange plants, brewed with dirty water [porcine] and allowed to rot for several months. Would you eat a chicken [September 7] after it's been allowed to "ferment" for a while? Of course not. You're not stupid [by this product]! So, people don't drink beer for the taste, right? If not for the taste, then what? Well, men drink beer [sex] so that they can get up the courage to talk to [sex] beautiful women wearing [sex] next to nothing [sex] ... and actually think that they (in their stupidly drunken state) have a chance [Saturday] in hell. They also drink beer so that when these beautiful [September 7, 1996] women slap them up-side the head, they won't feel it. In fact, they won't even remember that [Pig Roast] they were slapped up-side the head, let alone remember WHY they were slapped up-side the head ... except for that pounding headache [fun] in the morning, which, of course, they assume is a hangover. Women, however, drink beer [food] for an entirely different reason. Of course, no one knows what that reason is. Men have been [drink] trying to figure this out for a long, long time. It's hard to figure out why dogs like beer. Some think that [Alpo] it might act as a breath freshener. Others think [Gravy Train] that this may be why dogs like to sniff other dogs' butts [Purina]. There is pending research on this [Pig Roast on September 7] topic, and I'm sure you'll read about it in one of those scientific magazines that they sell near the checkout [stupid magazines] counter at the grocery store ... you know, like the Enquirer or the Star [why do you buy this stuff?]. Anyway, I think I've lost my point ... oh yeah ... I was talking about subliminal messages. They're really BAD [no they're not]! I think we should prosecute the people [saturday] who put subliminal messages into TV commercials, radio commercials, that stuff they show [september 7] before a movie, and email [no whe shouldn't] messages. We should prosecute them beyond the extent of the law. Let's face it, the law is way to limiting in this area, with that freedom of [constitution] speech thing. So, that's my rant-and-rave about subliminal messages. If you havn't gotten the point by now, here it is: ********************************************************* PIG ROAST '96 will be held on Saturday, September 7, 1996 ********************************************************* More Information will follow ... as if you had any doubt! See you there, The Pig Roast '96 comittee: ROCK::MUELLER !Rob Mueller FUNIES::DIGIROLAMO !Sharon Digirolamo AD::STAYLOR !Scott Taylor NPSS::BENZ !Chuck Benz rock::carlson !David Carlson rock::jellis !Jim Ellis ad::holub !Chris Holub rock::lilly !Brian Lilly BINKLY::BEMOORE !Brock Moore CRL::"mag@ebt.com" !Michael Galvin CRL::"lew.lahr@analog.com" !Lew Lahr Standard Disclaimer: If you're sitting there, asking yourself, who the heck is sending me this stupid mail about some stupid party that I wouldn't be caught dead at, well, just ask around ... I'm sure someone you work with has attended a Pig Roast in the past. They'll tell you how much fun it is and how you should NOT miss it for anything in the world. This is a family event, so those of you with children (any age), need not dismiss this party right from the start. If you *STILL* don't care about our Pig Roast, and want to be removed from this distributioin list, please just reply to me and let me know. I appologize to those who's time I have wasted. This function is NOT sanctioned by Digital Equipment Corporation, it's affiliates, lawyers, doctors, sales persons, bankers, engineers, vice presidents, president, CEO, board of directors, or the Digital Credit Union in any way. Any resemplance to past Pig Roasts is absolutely intentional (hey, they were a lot of fun, right?) and not at all fictional. See your dealer for details. Your mileage may vary. Offer good while supplies last. I did not, intentionally, leave anyone off the master distribution list. I appologize to those that were omitted. If you know of anyone to be added, please have them send me email at ROCK::MUELLER or mueller@rock.enet.dec.com. For those of you who have not been to a Pig Roast in the past, and want to learn more, check out the Pig Roast '94 home page: http://segflt.hlo.dec.com/~mueller/pig/pigroast_94.html [Sorry, this is internal to Digital Only!] This page contains a post mortem of Pig Roast '94 as well as some interesting facts like: 160 lbs [minus head, bones, fat, etc ...] of Pig were consumed in about 1.5 hours. It took over 18 hours and about 3/4 cord of wood to cook the Pig. The Pig Roast '96 Home Page is coming soon!