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This page contains information from Pig Roast '94. If you've never attended a pig roast before, read this page and find out how wonderfully exciting a pig roast can be.

Pig Roast '94 Post-Mortem

Please note, all times are approximate, and the actual time varies with the amount of beer consumed or the lack of sleep had at the time of the event.

Fri, 13:00
Rob and Sharon pick up the blessed porcine at -- of all places -- EL Blood & Son Farms, in West Groton, MA. A full 160 lbs, complete with head and squiggly little tail [awe, how cute ... NOT]. Now, do you think that EL went into the business because his name was Blood, or do you think his ancestor's became known as Blood, because they were in the business? You make the call!
Fri, 18:00
First keg [a CBC Pale Ale] is tapped.
Fri, 19:00
First guest, Adam Siegel, arrives. Take note that Adam was also the last guest to leave (see Sun, 13:00).
Fri, 19:30
Rob arrives at Pig Roast '94 location with the Pig, henceforth to be known as "Bob the Pig", in honor of our preceding King of Pig Roast Hosts, Bob Weisenbach, who, by the way, fled to the sunny banks of California for fear of being guilted into running another pig roast.
Fri, 21:30
Bob the Pig is placed on the Spit. Now, I won't gross all of you out with the details of how we had to complete the splitting of Bob's sternum and remove the rest of the organs. And how we juggled the heart and both kidneys [which we have on film, by the way]. And how Jeff ran after Dori with the liver. Oops, I guess I just did gross everyone out ... oh, well, sorry!

The fire is started ... with a small amount of gasoline ... which, by the way, burns REALLY well, and is a very effective propellant.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Fri, 22:00
Bob the Pig is placed over the coals, for what is to become a long, and brutal cooking period (18 hours as we now know). Thanks to Sharon for going home to get a long-handled shovel, I still have some hair on my hands and arms.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Fri, 22:30
Lew "I'm so huge" Lahr arrives, and a loud "LEEEEWWWWW" was heard throughout the neighborhood.
Fri, 23:00
Chuck "The Cook Master" Benz, departs in his MrBenz vehicle and leaves us poor Pig Roasting apprentices [or is that apprenti?] to tend the ill-fated porcine. Lew Lahr is now commander in chief of Pig Operations.
Sat, 00:00
Dori and friend from Long Island begin their kitchen talking marathon. (They finally finish 6 hours later, See Sat, 06:00).
Sat, 01:00
Jeff starts playing computer games.
Sat, 02:30
Rob gets his first bit of sleep (on the couch), while Lew tends the pig.
Sat, 04:30
Michaell Galvin politely wakes Rob and demands that he take over else be put on the spit next to Bob the Pig. Rob quickly gets up, since he is severely allergic to pain ... especially by fire. Lew and Mike leave shortly after, leaving Rob as CEO of Bob-the-Pig, Inc.
Sat, 05:30
Contrary to implied advanced planning, Jon White (the early bird that he is) does NOT show up to relieve Rob from his roasting duties. Rob laboriously continues the pig vigil as the sun rises over the trees ... but he's really not bitter ... really I wasn't!
Sat, 06:00
Jeff finishes playing computer games, finally giving Rob some company to tend the pig. Most ridiculously, Rob does not sleep at this point.

Dori and friend finish marathon talk session (see Sat, 00:00). If you've ever endured two people from Long Island talking before, you'll note that 6 hours isn't that long. [note the political correctness here ... I could have said "two women from Long Island," but I'd never make a generalization like that, now would I?]

Sat, 08:00
As promised, Chris Szmauz arrives with coffee and donuts. Rob really wants to sleep, but takes a large coffee and two donuts anyway, thus, causing him to stay awake for yet another hour. Duh, that was stupid!!!
Sat, 09:00
Rob finally gets some more sleep ... this time in the quiet of a bedroom. Ahhhh, this felt really good!
Sat, 12:00
Rob awakes only to complain that no one has picked up the rest of the kegs of beer. Will someone just shut him UP!
Sat, 12:30
Jeff and Rich depart for Kappy's liquors in Sudbury to acquire the rest of the beverages.

Rob showers ... much to the pleasure of others around him.

Sat, 13:30
Random guests begin arriving, although it is relatively sparse at the homestead.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Sensing serious stomach grumbles, Rob scavenges for food, only to find some left-over pizza (last night's dinner). Quickly wrapping it in foil, he tosses it into the pig coals, for some heat. It is devoured in a matter of seconds, leaving only foil and coal dust.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Sat, 15:00
Drums arrive and are set up in the livingroom, to be tended by Kevin "Meat" Moylan (and, occasionally, one other person). This, coupled with Rich's keyboards, Michaell Galvin's "way-cool" guitar playing (not to mention his singing), and another guitar player (the name of whom I do not know), made for some very excellent music throughout the night. Yours truly quickly got the big "thumbs down" whenever I even looked at an instrument, let alone, picked it up and actually tried to play it.
Sat, 16:30
Bob removed from spit. Carving commences. The carvers, obviously amatures, hacked up poor Bob, but the guests didn't seem to care. The meat was fantastic, and the homemade sauce (courtesy Chuck Benz) really made the meal.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Sat, 18:00
I think the pig was devoured around this time, although, I was so busy stuffing my face with some ribs, I really didn't keep track of time.

Click on the picture to get the Big JPEG version.

Sat, 22:30
Latest arriving guests, Andy Burns and daughter, arrive.
Sat, 23:30
Pink Floyd Laser Light show in Rich's basement, brought to you by Helious and Neonious (marketing gods of the elements).
Sat, 23:45
Rob and Sharon leave, and only a few interesting stories from the wee hours of the night have been related to me thus far. Unfortunately, I can't print all of them.
Sun, 01:30
Rumor has it that a certain guitar player was found in a less-than-stable condition in the bathroom. Mind you, this is only rumor, and hasn't really been substantiated, but it's the only story of it's kind for the party, and I just had to exploit it a little. Hurling is always fair game!
Sun, 12:00
Tap removed from last keg. Remaining attendees refused to consume the remaining swill of the Bud keg.
Sun, 13:00
Last guest, Adam Siegel, leaves. Take note that Adam was also the first guest to arrive (see Fri, 19:00).
Sun, 18:00
Spit is cleaned and fire (by now, only hot embers) is finally doused with water, thus signifying the true end to Pig Roast '94.

Pig Roast '94 Statistics

The following sports were seen being played at some time during the party:

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Robert O. Mueller / Digital Semiconductor / ROCK::MUELLER